It's really hit me now; I will be in a foreign country for nine whole months. I watched my house disappear in the rear view window, got stuck in traffic, checked my two bags (one 49.5lb, the other 48.5lb; the woman working the desk was impressed), and took a little too long in security putting my shoes, watch, necklace, and belt on.
As I sit here at gate E7, it's fascinating to see how technology has changed us. There are glowing signs reading "Recharge Here," below which are outlets to power mobile devices. Most everyone is looking at a screen, and I am no exception.

Lorine and Lionel, two of the other four students traveling with me, 

are also not an exception.

I went on a spiritual, theatrical road trip this past summer with a group called New Wine. We performed a play in churches, slept in the churches in which we performed, and then drove to another church the next day. On the trip (which was to Santa Fe, New Mexico and back) I tended to stick to my phone and to myself. I didn't talk to others as much as I should have. I suffer from social anxiety, even though I believe I'm an extrovert. People charge me up and I hate being lonely. The thing is, when I try to talk to others there's a solid wall of worry that keeps me from approaching them. 

We are so disconnected these days, yet the world is smaller because we are connected. It's strange how often things contradict themselves. I suppose reality isn't all that focused; it's just a jumbled mess of events. Reality is so complex and deep that we make things up when we remember; we don't really remember. We try to accurately recreate what has happened to us. 

Thusly, I am writing this blog. I don't want to forget. I want to write things as they happen, when they are fresh in my mind. I want to step out of my comfort zone (as if I haven't already). I want to try new things like actually going up and talking to people and not waiting for them to approach me. 

...speaking of waiting, our second flight still doesn't have a gate. The plane starts boarding in half an hour. It'll be fun to see how this turns out.

Cool.

Around noon yesterday I got a friend request on Facebook–nothing major. I looked at the guy's profile and, sure enough, he went to Stiftgymnasium Melk. I wasn't fazed–lots of people from Melk have been friending me, probably after seeing the bio Herr Riegler (the program director) posted. Nevertheless, I had a premonition that he'd be my host brother.
Upon checking my email two hours later, I found an email from Herr Sack, my German teacher. I opened it, expecting a thank you note for sending him a copy of my birth certificate for my visa application. Instead I got this:

My heart skipped a beat. I wasn't expecting to get my host family's info as soon as I did. I had a meeting two days ago and Herr Sack said Herr Riegler only had three or four families and would only release their information when he set up all five. I got this email the next day.

It would appear that I'll be staying in the village of Schönbühel, home to Schloß (Castle) Schönbühel for nine months.

Yes–my neighborhood has a castle, and here's a picture of it:

I've yet to contact my host brother–I mean, how do you introduce yourself to a complete stranger that you'll be living with for nine months in a foreign country? At least I'm grateful to have the opportunity to ask such questions and still be in high school. :)

Hmm, it's my first post. How do you do this blogging thing again...? xD I mean, I have a tumblr. Do you use emoticons on these things? I don't really read blogs, I guess. My seventeenth birthday is tomorrow and is gonna be hella awesome, so yeah. My god, this is going to be terrible, this blog thing. Crap. Maybe I should look up some helpful tips or something. xD
If you didn't realize, I'm getting way ahead of myself here. It's February and my senior year doesn't start until late August. So why would I bother posting anything or even creating this blog in the first place?
My application is done. I've successfully answered the question, "What would you do if people in your group started dating and having sex?" formally and without any hints of sarcasm or pervertedness, among others. Sure, I could tell you how I responded to the question regarding how I'd deal with a lower drinking age (16), but it's actually pretty boring, as you'll see in my essay.
Yes, I had to write an essay. It's cheesy, but I'm a cheesy person. My essay is forged from pure fact and will explain things that, frankly, I'm too lazy to type right now. This will probably be the most boring thing I'll post, but I guess it's semi-important info, nonetheless.

Meinen Aufsatz (My Essay):

         I've been wanting to study in Austria for quite some time now, starting my freshman year. My parents' answer, unsurprisingly, was "no." The next year, they let me spend a month as a foreign exchange student in Germany and return to Waldsee, and I thought it was a fair exchange. Now, my desire to participate in the Melk Program is as strong as it has ever been. My month in Germany and Austria was the best time of my life, and I need to return.
  As for my potentially beneficial attributes, I've been considered as extremely mature for my age since elementary school. Adults often tell me they've forgotten I'm still in school when they talk to me, that I'm an "old soul." I believe this maturity, deeper insight, and responsibility would help keep the group in line while keeping every participant's needs, rights, and desires in mind. Being a sensitive person myself, this should not be a problem. I'm hard on myself, so I know I'll accept personal responsibility should my judgement be subpar.
The main reasons why I want to study in Melk are to improve my German, open up socially, and to step out of my comfort zone. While High German is taught in class, I want to talk like an actual citizen would. I want to learn Umgangssprache. I want to be able to hold a conversation in German; I am tired of having to search the metaphorical file cabinets of my brain for a word or phrase. I want to let my worries go and just speak.
My social skills are somewhat distorted. While I'm unnoticed and easily forgettable at school, I'm funny, charismatic, and likable elsewhere. I hope that when I'm hoarded into a group and shipped off to Austria, our mutual situation will help us bond. I usually open up more when I'm with a group of people I don't know, so opening to faces I see in the hallway on a regular basis would require me to step out of my comfort zone.
That is only one way I want to open up. I want to stop isolating myself so much and be out in the world instead of on my computer for hours on end in my bedroom. I want to make a fool of myself and be myself without caring about the opinions of others. I want to face my fears; the very idea of skiing in the Alps makes me cringe, as does trying cuisine as simple and "kid-friendly" as Apfelstreudel. It would be great to increase my tolerance of unfamiliar foods. If even half of these things happened, I'd call it a successful year.
Overall, I feel I'm prepared to accept the challenge because I want to increase my depth of understanding of Austrian culture and German, I know it'll be worth the personal growth, it will help my college acceptance chances, and I know it's an amazing opportunity I can't skip.